You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”Oh. Man. Fuck. I am so tired.
I don’t even want to finish this text post. UGH.
Okay fine this is me acknowledging I smoke a substantial amount. This is me saying I will try not to do that any longer and I will also try not to do all the things I told myself I wouldn’t. Life is trash.
16 hours ago with 1 note
You guys I have 3pks of cigarettes. I think my boyfriend was right… I’ve got a problem.
17 hours ago with 2 notes
My friend just made me drive on the freeway because she was too tired and now I am fucking going to sleep.
6 days ago with 0 notes
I am so fucking proud of myself; for not killing myself and pushing through. I am so thankfull for my mother and my siblings and all my friends that love and care for me. I’m so freaking grateful.
6 days ago with 1 note
“
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Live. Live.
Live.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.
”(via biwwfy)
6 is my life though.
6 days ago with 74,877 notes
I’m going back to long beach tomorrow…
1 week ago with 0 notes
You can’t do that. You can’t ask me when I want my plane ticket buy it for that date and then go out and switch it for one that leaves tomorrow. You asked me when I wanted it so I told you when and why. So I could money and now you go out and change it. That’s an asshole move. This is just another thing for you guys to feel superior about. You guys are trash.
1 week ago with 0 notes
You know what bothers me the most while I’m working, it’s when a male comes in and feels its his goddam right to mention my asthetics. Or when they stare at me for longer than necessary like I’m up for display or some shit. I just want to scream at them like wtf are you staring at me like that for can you fucking stop.
1 week ago with 2 notes
Okay I lied I’m still mad and I don’t have a valid reason to be. I just know I don’t want to talk to you and I know I’ve been here before and I can see exactly what I’m doing and I’m really sorry. I just don’t deserve anyone so this is me pushing you away.
1 week ago with 1 note
I’m at the stage of my anger where all I’m doing iiss crying in the dark. Hahaa.
1 week ago with 0 notes
I am thinking a massive amount of horrible fucking things right now. I am feeling really angry towards you and saying a lot of fucked up shit to myself and making up scenarios in my demented head about what the fuck you are doing and who the fuck you are doing it with it and I just want to curse you out for letting me do this to myself and egging on my distorted thoughts.
1 week ago with 0 notes
I wish I could just shut up. Like shut up. Because when I get mad at someone I feel this terrible need to tell them exactly why I’m mad at them and while I’m at it also start verbally assualting them and saying really cruel and spiteful things that I know I’ll later regret.
1 week ago with 0 notes
I feel ignored. Really fucking unimportant so I’m not going to fucking talk to you either and Im gonna say I don’t care about this shit when you know I do fucking care because I’m posting this.stupid fucking post.
1 week ago with 1 note
I am extremely fuckiny selfish.
1 week ago with 0 notes
